


let's go /// till we can't anymore

by SetsuntaMew



Category: Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic
Genre: Asexual Character, Developing Relationship, Experimental Style, M/M, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-02
Updated: 2015-10-02
Packaged: 2018-04-24 11:23:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4917697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SetsuntaMew/pseuds/SetsuntaMew
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>reach up, up, up, and a little further<br/>go until you <i>can't</i>;</p><p>Judal and Hakuryuu, in depravity and out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	let's go /// till we can't anymore

**Author's Note:**

  * For [catakkin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/catakkin/gifts).



> I did a lot of experimental stuff with typesetting and layout, so it's kind of pretentious...but in a good way, I feel :D

 

reach up, up, up, and a little further  
go until you _can't_ ;  
failure isn't an option

x･x･x

 

Judal takes his hand – _no one_ ever takes Hakuryuu's hand – but he pulls them up when they fall. And depravity is less despair and more an answer, a name for the dark voices in the angry depths of his mind. It's a gnawing beast that threatens to devour his entire being if he doesn't push forward, satiating its needs with rage and violence.

It's nothing new, just the same feelings given purpose, a name, and he gains an unlikely partner in the thick of it.

It's a push and pull, a delicate balancing act, falling together, in depravity and love and countless things in between. Boundaries are tested and pushed at, Judal always hungry to know just what Hakuryuu's limits are and so very bad at asking in words. But throwing magic and anger around can't sustain anyone, least of all two volatile and fractured boys.

 

x･x･x

 

_and then–_

 

x･x･x

 

 

 

There's a breaking point in their walls, their personal boundaries and wariness with each other, after the first pinpricks poking through the years of resistance, and in reality there are so many splintering cracks that it hardly matters what the final one is.

 

x･x･x

 

 

Hakuryuu likes the feel of magic tipped fingers on his ears, running through his hair and rustling it loose from its carefully constructed topknot.

Judal pushes too far once, pulling hard when Hakuryuu wants soft and delicate, and there's a harsh silence when Hakuryuu jerks back.

  
“Don't.”  


The word feels small and hard in the air of his and their bedroom, but it rolls across Judal like a free-flowing stream. He gives a lopsided grin, almost the beginning of a challenge, until he rolls to lay on Hakuryuu's right side. Judal is just in Hakuryuu's line of vision and carefully just out of his personal space.

The mood calms to quiet contentment.

“Sure thing!”

 

x･x･x

 

and that's it, so easy and so reassuring  
it's still the same fight;  
push through the barren land with broken nails  
never broken _souls_

 

x･x･x

 

Judal picks and picks at anxieties like old scabs, tearing into them until they bleed out, and Hakuryuu has to bandage them afterward.

_“why, why, judal,  
it's all fire and death and hopeless pleading.”_

_“maybe this time I can understand.”_

_“............”_

_“next time, then!”_

_“fate has cursed us both,  
no matter how you tear it apart.”_

_“...I know. I just want_  
_to know why it had_  
_to be_  
_**me** -”_

_“stop.”_

Purple bruised scratches turning to scars don't suit Judal's vain appearance, so Hakuryuu uses the most careful remedies he knows, Zagan's plants feeding life into soft skin.

x･x･x

Teenagers talk like it's a sacred ceremony or an act to boast about to all their friends; it's something to be taken incredibly seriously either way.

 

Judal is stubbornly refusing to remove his pants while sitting topless on their bed. Hakuryuu's pants are folded neatly on the floor and his chest houses a collection of bandages and his bindings. He watches Judal idly a scratch a nipple and it summons an obnoxious itch where his own left nipple was, now instead a mass of scars.

Hakuryuu sighs in frustration at the impractical itch. The slowly growing tension in the room shatters with Judal's laughter, cawing at Hakuryuu's suffering.

“Oh, stop that.” He's fond and only somewhat chiding, but the itch is still there and it allows annoyance to creep into his voice.

Judal instead points. “Bet your nip nop itches and it's not even there for you to scratch!”

“I– Judal. Nip nop? Where do you come _up_ with these things?” Hakuryuu is halfway to laughing with him, the situation feels so ridiculous.

“My glorious mind!” Judal's laughter turns to giggles and his shoulders shake with them, his posture comfortable and relaxed and loose.

Hakuryuu can't help it; he's laughing too, like he hasn't in years. “What are we even trying to do here? Neither of us knows how it works and–“ he breaks off into another peal of laughter, and Judal has caught his breath enough to continue.

“'Cause we thought we should? Jeez, Hakuryuu, I'd rather pet your face all night but we're _supposed_ to be 'serious'.” Judal pulls a face at the end, like he's bitten into a food that doesn't taste at all like he expected it to.

Hakuryuu shakes his head. “We're hopeless. I can't – I can't possibly take this _seriously_ now. You laughed at my missing nipple!”

This sends Judal into a fresh set of giggles. “Phantom nip nop, taken at such a young age!”

“Stop it!” Hakuryuu lets out an undignified snort as he attempts to stop laughing.

“Never!!”

Any last pretense of seriousness melts away as Judal launches himself at Hakuryuu from across the bed, tickling his scars through his bandages. They fall asleep in a disorganized pile of limbs, warm contentedness settling comfortably in the air.

 

x･x･x

 

Judal watches Hakuryuu cough up rusty brown blood, another remainder from their fight with Gyokuen. He's staring, red eyes trailing up Hakuryuu's chest; his injuries are hidden by layers of bindings but it wouldn't surprise him if Judal could see deeper, through cloth to the marred, mottled skin.

Hakuryuu swings his scythe, and banishes the soul of another corrupt official, Belial's powers thrumming in his veins alongside the gnawing emptiness that threatens to consume him again and again.

 

x･x･x

 

_“you'll look gorgeous, death in  
decadent black and white.”_

_“stay on task.”_

_“ahhhhhh hakuryuu,  
indulge me. let me relish in my king.”_

 

Belial's full equip takes up more space than Zagan's and he feels empty life flood his limbs, more than he has ever had, extra arms and pitch black wings and unnaturally white arches of bones crisscross the peach garden, laying waste to errant branches and juicy wet fruits.

Judal's eyes are full of mad power but he stays uncharacteristically quiet as he inspects.

Finally, a grin splits his face.

“Perfect as a peach and unfathomably deadly, what more could a magi ask for?”

 

x･x･x

   


_“why, oh why, did it have to be me?”_

  


x･x･x

 

Hakuryuu cannot fathom the dark, lifeless abyss of space.

 

x･x･x

 

There's a separation, a sudden break in a supporting wall, and Hakuryuu fumbles to remember the years of resistance, the years of secret keeping and locked away feelings. In reality, the world spins on, but when he finally inspects his emotional accomplishments, there's no true fix for the splintered cracks that led him to Judal.

 

x･x･x

 

 

 

 

 

x･x･x

 

_and finally–_

 

x･x･x

 

Anger never truly dies; depravity is just another name for the feelings that burrow so deeply in Hakuryuu's mind and soul that no amount of white rukh can ever truly blot them out.

Hakuryuu pushes forward, goes until he _can't_ –

 

x･x･x

  
_“you're the only one_  
_like me.”_  
  


x･x･x

–and then one more.

x･x･x

 

fall down, down, down, into eternal dark with me  
i'll pull you up again;  
just keep up and we'll break this hell

 

**together.**


End file.
